In this article, I am going to invite you to think about and feel into what safety is and how we can find it, even in this current state of the world we live in.
I will share ways to cultivate finding internal safety and embody safety within. This will change how you operate in your daily life and have a positive effect on the choices you make. This is about finding one's own internal safety, which can truly help each individual to take back their power. This reclaimed power then becomes an internal compass and guidance system that will help you in making choices that are internally safe and sovereign.
Now, I don’t mean the kind of safety that is based on fear, I'm talking about the feeling of knowing you are able to feel deeply in tune with your choices and intuition. I'm talking about the kind of safety that allows a person to feel confident in taking steps to move toward their dreams and desires and fully trust their intuition.
I'd like to invite you to take a couple of minutes before you read any further to imagine what it would look like if we lived in a world where everyone felt safe. How would you imagine the world would be different? How would people be different? What would people strive for if they already felt safe? What could you do if you had a sense of internal safety?
I know this is a far place from where we are in the world right now and that this can be a big topic to approach with privilege and inequality at the foundation of our culture in America and a topic that deserves a voice and attention. What I am going to share in this article is focused on the importance of being able to find safety within and how this can be the biggest step to your healing as an individual and even foster the ability to hold safe space and help the world to have space to heal these very traumas.
As someone who never had true safety in their home as a child, I have been on this journey to know safety for most of my life. I never had safety as a child with either of my parents or sibling. I was always searching for someone to provide me with the safety I didn't experience with my family. This led to codependency in my relationships not only in my adult life but as a child within my friendships. The people who raised me and were closest to me should have, in an ideal situation, provided me with this sense of safety and taught me what that was but instead, I experienced the opposite; extreme fear, neglect, and abuse. My home was never a safe place for me.
When a person grows up in situations where danger is a normal or daily experience they have a desensitized way of operating through life. For me, it was normal to have danger in my childhood. It was a daily occurrence, even into my adulthood. I didn't want it in my life but I also was so used to ignoring the warning signals of danger or thinking I could handle it so it was no big deal. Often I would mistake danger for chemistry or excitement in my relationships with others.
As you might imagine I’ve spent so much of my adult life healing from these wounds. I’ve done many different therapies and seen many healing practitioners, self-studied, attended various trainings, and even became a healing arts practitioner myself. It was a long journey to get to a point where I realized I felt the safest I had ever felt in my life, or I should say that I actually felt safe for the first time in my life! A deep internal safe feeling. This was a totally new feeling. IT......FELT......SO.......GOOD, and OH YEAH did I talk about it to everyone! I may have even shouted from the rooftop, or at least from my Facebook page. It was a sense of a landing within myself and realizing that I had done enough work to embody a felt sense of safety. Finally, I felt and knew I could trust myself in a way that was integrated and not just a spoken idea. Safe had been actualized and realized in my body. Now I want to share what things helped to anchor this into my life.
Let’s get into some of the things that led me there and some of the things that I think can help others get there as well. I am going to start with what I call our Core Elements of Divine Sovereignty and come back to practices specifically for the embodiment of safety. I believe and have found for myself that these things will help to clarify values and choices, increase compassion for life, understand one’s abilities, and ground a person here in this earth home.
Our core elements of Divine Sovereignty are:
Spirit(Creation), Earth(Home), Body(Beliefs), Mind(Power)
Spirit~(Creation)
Find your way to spirit; We are always in co-creation. Creation processes are spiritual.
Connections to life and all that is around us, relations to life force. We can access this through Divine communications, daydreams, internal talk, stories and dreams, trance, prayer, or intentional communication with spirit. Even being in nature or with other living things while being intentional and present can connect us to the spirit.
We are all touched by Gods. We are all our own God.
You have infinite wisdom within. You are infinitely wise.
How have you been communicating with yourself lately? Communication is key to accessing this connection, whether you believe in a god or spirit at all. There are many terms one can use for this, even the subconscious. You can also call this your consciousness or the energy within the operating system or matrix. The important part here is how you communicate and create more intentional and compassionate communication. There are many ways to cultivate a kinder and healthier relationship with oneself through communication.
One tool that can help to achieve this is Inner Child Work. It is a process that allows a person to be more gentle and compassionate towards themselves. Once the ability for self-compassion is created then one can ask for guidance and even communicate with their spirit or higher self, intuition, or guides in a way that is more cohesive and collaborative. Creating a healthy relationship with all that is you.
Earth (Home)
Earth Embodiment and grounding practices, a key to healing from trauma. Some will call this part of healing the mother wound.
Do you feel stuck, ungrounded, lost, disconnected, unsupported, unloved, unlovable? Earth embodiment is a way to find these things in this lifetime.
The more we can connect with the planet we live on that which provides us with a home and food, with elements, and nature the more we actualize "home". The ability to connect and love this planet Earth Home will give you the ability to feel more safe and grounded. Some things that can help a person create this relationship is to notice that which is the Earth home. The soil, the trees, and the animals, the elements of Earth. Take walks or go camping and really take these moments to be with nature. Ask the plants questions or ask their stories and just sit and listen to see what comes. When we can sit on the dirt and be with it just to feel and see what comes we give nature the opportunity to be alive and witnessed creating a healthy relationship with the life we live with. And yes, go hug a tree, or even grow a garden. Be curious about the migration of animals and not so judgy about what is a weed and what isn't. Find out what plants are edible in your area and get to know the trees and shrubs in your neighborhood. Learn to love nature and have compassionate communication with it. Creating healthy communication with the world around you will allow you deeper reverence for that which truly provides for you every day, that which supports your ability to live and thrive here on Earth
Body (Belief)
What we believe about anything and everything shows up in our bodies. This is part of why embodiment practices are so helpful. Embodiment practices teach the body to hold new codes and release false or old programming.
What we believe becomes emotion, and that e-motion is the energy put forth as movement through our living experience.
What can we do to connect and create a new embodied experience? Dynamic self-care.
This looks like taking care of yourself like you are the most important thing in this life because well you just might be. This doesn't have to look any specific way but to treat yourself like you truly do matter and your care and wellness do too. This can be expressed through self-investigation, self-support, massage, eating with intention, making time for your joy and rest, creating a cozy living and sleeping environment, and doing things with yourself that feels loving and nourishing. Writing yourself letters about how much you appreciate yourself. If we don't find the value and importance in our life as a living expression on this Earth we will be met with struggle and uncertainty about our value.
Next is the relationship we have with our emotions and processing them. What are emotions?
E-moiton, Energy in motion. Our emotions send messages for our overall well-being. Optimal health will be more available and there won’t be as much resistance or storage of emotions within the body that causes distress, discomfort, and disease.
When we do not see our emotions or do not allow them to be witnessed they silently take over our lives, destroying the flow, blocking energy, and building up until a snowball of feelings rolls us over.
Who are we? Emotional, energetic, matter, mental?
When we are able to have awareness of our feelings in the moment, or when they show back up and we let ourselves process them then we are our own best healing practitioner.
Are we existing as one whole human or are we separate parts living in relationship to ourselves?
Can we become one if we are fragmented?
Where does separation begin?
How do we come into our own true union?
Embodied safety and the importance-of feeling it.
Mind (Power)
What you believe you create and, what is creation without belief? So what do you believe?
Where do these beliefs come from? Are they yours, your mothers, your fathers, or those of society or culture? Where did they get these beliefs from? Is it a program or agenda?
So, this is also a topic of freedom and domestication. Controlled through generational programming, through mass socialization. Programs that can be new, or passed down from generation to generation.
Programming- What is programming? How do we show up programmed?
Coding- Who is coding you? What codes are you receiving?
What does freedom look like? Change your mind, change your life.
The revealing of the truth, Self. Boundless, bound and boundaries, self-sustainability.
-What keeps you from your purpose?
We are trained to live backward. To be told what to do without self-trust. Instead of listening to our senses, we are told to follow our hearts BUT..... only as long as we do it in terms of what is culturally and socially expected and normal, and I don't mean mainstream just normal. We then use our senses to navigate through the boundaries and limits that have been set up for our existence with the controlled sectors. While instead, we should be living through our senses and creating our unique environment and ideals for personal and truthful experiences.
Things Keeping You From Your Personal Gifts and Greatest Truth Are Things Which Do Not Belong To You-
Things such as Agendas, false beliefs, and mind control through media and social ideologies, create comparisons, judgments, and fear. What if you had been taught from the beginning to trust and have faith in yourself, and make all your life choices from your inner knowing/your faith?
Remember all those times you had been told to ignore how you felt as a child, as a teen, and even as an adult? That is the program of an agency, an agenda to disconnect you from your inner wisdom and faith in your knowing. This is the creation of capitalist soldiers through self-abandonment. When we self-abandon and rely on others for truth we are more easily controlled and subdued.
These disorders have shown up for many years in working with clients. It shows up in trauma, these are traumas. You can relearn to remember this deep innate wisdom by starting with loving communication within yourself. By believing in yourself and no longer needing to explain to others why you are making sovereign choices.
Have you ever noticed that people want to know why and how you are going to do something or question why you made that choice and need you to convince them of your choices? We have been so deeply trained to not trust ourselves that we don’t even trust that others know what is best for themselves leaving us living in a world of doubt and fear.
Now that we have touched on connecting to spirit, finding home on earth, embodied beliefs, and processing emotions we come back to feeling safe within.
One of my best and most true exercises for getting to know safety is checking in multiple times a day with yourself and asking “Do I feel safe right now?” How you would do this at random throughout the day no matter where you are. You may be surprised to find out what you feel. Feel the sensations in your body during both times of feeling safe or not feeling safe. get to know the sensations that show up. These are your body's signals for communication. The more you do this practice the more you will move away from the things that don't feel safe and the more you will find yourself appreciating what feels safe.
The number of times in the past I made myself stay somewhere because I thought I should, because of others' expectations, and overriding my internal guidance and feelings so that I wasn't seen as rude or so I wouldn’t be left out. When I came up with this practice for myself I also gave myself permission to leave wherever I was if I felt like it.
I know that we can’t always just get up and leave work, but even stepping out to go to the bathroom is possible, but mostly the ability to recognize when you feel or don't feel safe is the platform for change. Just taking a moment to engage with your sensations and asking how you feel will lead you toward new experiences. When you feel these sensations just witness them without any judgment or shame. Let them know you see them and that it's okay to feel this.
This practice was such an empowering experience to check in with myself, and when I felt unsafe at all I didn’t need to doubt myself or figure out what was making me feel unsafe, I simply said I had to go. It truly felt so good to listen to myself and give me what I needed in that moment, without question. I believe this helped me to trust myself and it let me embody self-care self-trust and value. I can leave any situation no matter how small or not dangerous it was if it felt like I shouldn't be there. This re-sensitized my internal alert system and it also strengthened my awareness of when I did feel safe creating clear channels to feeling safe more often.
What do we provide when we feel safe? How does that change the way we operate in the world?
We won't feel the need to get certain needs met by others, we won't be inclined to manipulate others to get our feelings and needs meet. We won't try to manipulate someone or something for our own unmet safety. We will be able to understand feeling safe and help provide spaces of safety for others and that is huge! If others feel a sense of safety around you because you have cultivated it with yourself.
As healing practitioners, providing a safe space is the number one thing we must be able to provide our clients. If we cannot provide a safe space how can a person heal? We must truly embody a safe space to be able to provide this for others because how can we provide something if we do not understand it? This is why I feel that safety is the most important aspect we can focus on as healers, and to be healed.
Find your safety.
Take back your power!
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